a love letter from my past self

A six-month check-in from the version of me who was just starting to believe things could get better

May 15, 2025

Six months ago, I hit rock bottom

This isn’t hyperbole

I took myself to a psychiatric hospital after finally waving the white flag on my spiraling mental health. I was exhausted, depressed, and genuinely not sure how the hell I was gonna keep going.

(There was no grippy sock vacation but tbh I was prepared for it. That’s how bad my mental health was)

A week after getting diagnosed with major depressive disorder and finally getting real help, I wrote a letter to my future self.

I was starting to believe I had a future worth writing to

screenshot of email that reads: "Dear FutureMe, First of all—look at you. 🫶🏾 You’ve made it six whole months from where I am now, and that’s a big deal. I hope you’ve taken a moment today to soak that in. Seriously. Pause, take a breath, and feel the pride that you deserve. You’re a resilient, tenacious badass, and I don’t want you to forget that. Right now, I’m sitting here filled with excitement about everything unfolding. I’m dreaming big and leaning fully into my desires, trusting that they’ll lead me exactly where I need to go. I hope you’re still doing that. I hope you’re still following what lights you up, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. That’s when you shine brightest. 💜 Remember how much patience you’ve practiced to get here. It’s not always easy, but you’ve proven—time and time again—that you can hold steady when the timing isn’t what you thought it’d be. Keep trusting the process. Keep trusting yourself. You’ve got the tools, the wisdom, and the magic to handle anything. And hey, don’t forget to look back and celebrate how far you’ve come. All those little wins added up to big shifts, even if you didn’t notice them in the moment. Keep going, keep growing, and most of all, keep believing that you deserve all the good things you’re working towards. With so much love and admiration, Past you 🪄"

I wrote that email with so much hope and relief for my future. Like, deep down, I knew this was a real turning point for my mental health.

I needed to remind myself that wherever I am in life, I am strong, resilient and smart as fuck. I always come through the bullshit. I might be changed, but who isn’t by life’s experiences?

I’m laughing at the irony of the first paragraph saying

I hope you’ve taken a moment today to soak that in. Seriously. Pause, take a breath, and feel the pride that you deserve.

Because my damn tarot deck has being saying the same shit for WEEKS LMAOOOO.

How did past me know that I’d need this reminder? Ya girl’s intuition is peak I fear

The cards been sayin it, and now past me is too. I swear I’m listening fr this time

This is after a few weeks of feeling like I wasn’t doing enough work even with PLAIN evidence that I am, and I deserve to sit and bask in my boss bitch energy!

Highly recommend writing to Future You—this is the tool I used if you wanna try it!

If you're crawling out of your own personal plot twist and need something solid to hold you up—I gotchu

My custom Notion builds and 1:1 consults are where we create systems that support Present You and hold space for Future You

let's work together

from Sue-Jan's desk

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