you're not lazy; you're disabled

let's unlearn the gaslighting, shall we?

Yesterday I had a really productive day, and started questioning how disabled I really am.

There are days when my support needs are pretty low and I have a great, productive day.

I get shit done, I meet my self care needs. 10/10 day!

And then there are days where my support needs are high, and I question how I even function in the world.

I feel guilty because wasn't I able to do all these things just yesterday?

I think of this idea of productivity that society has, and it's not really helpful to neurodiverse and mentally/chronically ill folk. This idea of being productive is basically being a machine: produce the same amount of work, day after day, without fail and without a break.

On a low support needs day, I can probably get a lot of shit done, and feel good about it. But I don't regularly have low support needs days!

This also got me thinking about what disability even means.

Am I truly disabled? Cos I can get things done. I'm somewhat productive. Am I just being lazy or not trying hard enough?

My bestie really hit me over the head with the fact that capitalism is doing a number on us. We're not supposed to be producing 24/7!

And then someone on my Threads post put it so beautifully:

When my support needs are low, it might mean that my disability needs are well nurtured with the right skills and environment and community. So still disabled, but well taken care of!

Going forward I'm gonna think of myself in this way. A low support needs day means that my environment is doing the work of supporting me so that I can do things. A high support needs day just means that my environment needs adjustment to take better care of me.

I'm not more or less disabled because of my support needs that day; I'm more or less supported and taken care of 💜

Did you know that up to 40% of neurodiverse beings are under- or unemployed?

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